Pseudepigrapha

pseud-e-pi-graph-a (sd-pgr-f)

noun pl.
1. Spurious writings, especially writings falsely attributed to biblical characters or times.
Many old religious texts, outside of any particular religion's canon, are just pseudepigraphia. In secular, literary texts, scholars usually just apply the prefix "pseudo" to describe the text, as with all of the early twentieth-century pseudo-Oscar Wilde homosexual porn that Robert Ross fought so hard to get off the market.

2. A body of texts written between 200 b.c. and a.d. 200 and spuriously ascribed to various prophets and kings of Hebrew Scriptures.
When Derek's friend claimed to have never heard of any pseudepigrapha, Derek asked if she had ever heard of the bible.

Synonyms: apocryphal, pseudological.

Percontation

per-con-ta-tion

noun
1. A question or inquiry which requires more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer.

Twenty Questions is a game of percontations; a percontation point, however, is punctuation used for irony.

Synonyms: backwards question mark.

Prurient

prur-i-ent (ˈpruriənt)

adjective
1. Exhibiting or characterized by excessive or inappropriate desire or interest; overly curious.

As Walt Disney once said, when you're prurient, you can find lots of interesting things to do! Okay, maybe those weren't his words.

2. Lascivious, lewd; exhibiting or characterized by an excessive or inappropriate concern with sexual matters; encouraging such a concern.

Filth is in the mind of the beholder; from the right angle, everything is prurient. 
A face agog might signify a prurient mind!

Synonyms: bawdy, carnal, crude, desirous, erotic, fleshly,horny, hot, lecherous, lewd, libertine, libidinous, licentious, lustful, obscene, offensive, orgiastic, pornographic, raunchy, salacious, sensual, sexual, smutty, suggestive, unchaste, vulgar.

3. Causing an itching or stinging sensation. 

Hey you, out there in the cold getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me? Hey you, standing in the aisles with prurient feet and fading smiles, can you feel me?*

Synonyms: crawling, crawly, prickling, tickling, tingling.

*I'm aware that those are not the actual words to the Pink Floyd song, but you get it.

Preproperous

pre-prop-er-ous* (priprɑpərəs)

adjective

1. over-hasty.

Never trust a preproperous toad in a pink airplane.

Synonyms: abrupt, boisterous, booming, breakneck, breathless, brief, brusque, cursory, festinate, feverish, furious, fussy, headlong, hot, impelled, impelling, impetuous, impulsive, in a hurry, in all haste, hasty, in hot haste, partito in quarta, perfunctory, precipitate, precipitous, preproperous, pressed for time, pushing, rudderish, rushing, saccadic, scrambling, short, slapdash, speedy, spoffish, subitaneous, umbeer, urgent.

*This word originates in classical Latin, in which properus means speedy.

Phlebotomize

phle-bot-o-mize (fləˈbätəmlīz)

verb
1. To perform a phlebotomy: to open a vein to withdraw or let blood.
There was a time when, if you were sick for too long, they'd phlebotmomize you to get rid of the bad blood, evil spirits and such.
2. To draw blood.
The first proof Jonathan Harker had of vampires was watching Dracula's brides phlebotmomized a small child.

Synonyms: bleed, draw blood, let blood.

Physiognomy

physiognomy (fĭzˌē-ŏgˈnə-mē, -ŏnˈə-mē)

noun
1. The art, science, divination or practice of judging human character through facial features.
Physiognomy is a central, implicit assumption underlying the plot of Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray. In 19th century American literature, physiognomy figures prominently in the short stories of Edgar Allan Poe.

Synonyms: judging a book by its cover, petty, phiz, phizog, shallowness, superficialness.

Pacificatory

pac-if-i-cat-or-y (ps-f-ktr)

adjective
1. Inclined toward making peace.
When things get stressed out around here, I like making soup. A good pacificatory soup has a thick broth, usually potato or butternut squash with lots of garlic and chilli.

Synonyms: calming, conciliatory, composing, neutralizing, pacified.

Parousiamania

pa-rou-si-a-man-i-a (pāro͞ozīāmāˈnē-ə, mānˈyə)

noun
2. Obsession with the second coming of Christ.
Second coming? Isn't that a Cialis commercial or something?*

Synonyms: Salt Lake City, the Pope.

*Sorry. I couldn't resist :)

Pulchritudinous

pulc-hri-tud-i-nous (pŭlˌkrĭ-to͞odˈn-əs, -tyo͞odˈ-)

adjective
1. Physically attractive.
I told my girl she was more pulchritudinous than anyone I'd met and she broke my nose!

Synonyms: adorable, beautiful, charming, chimerical, comely, cute, darling, delightful, delicate, dishy, dreamboat, divine, eyeful, fair, fetching, fine, foxy, good-looking, gorgeous, handsome, hot, hunky, kissable, lovely, mesmeric, nice, pleasant, pleasing, pretty, sexy, simply irresistible, stunning.

* HotForWords, an excellent Video Blog, also explains pulchritudinous well.

Paragon

par-a-gon (părˈə-gŏnˌ, -gən)

noun
1. Exemplary example of its kind.
Monkey Beach is a paragon of Canadian fiction.
Gamble Everything For Love is a paragon of love songs.
Chris Wright is a paragon among contemporary painters.
Soon my daughter my daughter will be too. She already makes me proud every single day.

Synonyms: Amanda, best, champion, epitome, exemplar, gem, ideal, jewel, model, peach, perfection, pick, tops, ultimate.

Paralanguage

par-a-lan-guage (pr-lnggwj)

1. Nonverbal communication, like a snort, chuckle, guffaw, a hiss or a shush, and tone of voice.
Soon, he only heard paralanguage and similar forms of deeper communication, like the way that Kristi’s head bobbed, as she giggled and flirted with the lovers of her coworkers.*

Synonyms: attitude, body language, intonation, nonphonemic properties of speech, nonverbal communication.

* A quote from my upcoming novel. How's that for pretentious and self-referential?

Pejorate

pe-jor-ate (pĭ-jôrˈāt)

verb
1. Make worse or decrease the value of.
Does painting barbies like zombies pejorate the brainlessness of the doll?
It doesn't seem to pejorate the marketability of such a doll. I wonder if Hasbro has thought of this.

Synonyms: impair, contaminate, blight, collapse, corrode, decline, decompose, defile, degenerate, depreciate disintegrate, dissolve, dwindle, fade, fail, worsen, lessen, molder, pollute, putrefy, putresce, reduce, rot, shrivel, sicken, sink, spoil, suppurate, turn, wane, waste away, weaken, wear away, wither.

Pirate

pi-rate* (prt)

noun
1. A scurvy rascal that steals things, while travelling the high seas.**
English dictionaries try to amend the definition of pirate, by insisting that these are people who do this without approval from their government, because they don't want certain English heroes, like Captain Drake, to be classified as pirates, even though he did much marauding and pillaging.
2. Someone operates television or radio stations without license.
Being a TV or radio pirate was cool in the eighties and early nineties, but now we just make podcasts instead.
3. Someone who steals music and videos, usually through the internet.
Pay for the new R.E.M. CD? You have to be kidding me! I am a total internet pirate!

Synonyms: buccaneer, everyone I know, filibuster, freebooter, marauder, privateer.

verb
1. The action of performing any of the above activities.
Let's operate a pirate*** radio station, while marauding about the seven seas and pirating all of the music for our radio station online, using other people's wifi!

Synonyms: downloading music for free online, marauding.

* This definition was inspired by an article from the Tyee. I also totally pirated a picture from them!
** Amigurumi can be pirates too!


*** Notice this word can also be used as an adjective: pirate radio, pirate ship, pirate hat, etc...

Pule

pule* (pyl)

verb
1. To whimper or whine.
"After four days of silence, my voice sounds terrible," she puled.

noun
1. The sound produced by above mentioned action.
They asked me to repeat myself every time they heard my pathetic pule.
2. An accurate description of Colin Meloy's regular singing voice.
I love him, but it's true. Just listen to him!

Synonyms: bleat, blubber, fuss, mewl, moan, quietly lament, snivel, weep, whine.

*Apparently, this is also a word for fucking in Norwegian.

Poly

po-ly

prefix
1. More than one.
If monogamists get one wife, polygamists get at least two.
2. More than usual.
Bisexuals can be in a relationship with either a man or a woman; people who are polyamorous can be in a relationship with a man AND a woman!

slang
1. Someone who practices having many romantic relationships at once, which is not the same as polygamy. Many loves does not mean the same thing as many marriages.
Teresa: I like Ken, but I think he's in a relationship with Barbie.
Whitney: Ya, but he's totally poly. He's also got a thing going with Kayla and Becky!

Synonyms: more open-minded than most, someone with a lot of spare time.