Hornswoggle

horn-swog-gle (ˈhɔːnswɒɡ(ə)l)

verb
1. to get the better of; to cheat or swindle; to hoodwink, humbug, bamboozle.*

Nolan Daniels hornswoggled more than 450 thousand Facebook users with a poorly photoshopped photo and the hope of the hopeless.

Synonyms: ambush, artifice, bamboozle, blind, bluff, casuistry, cheat, chicanery, circumvention, con, concealment, conspiracy, conundrum, cover, deception, decoy, delusion, device, disguise, distortion, dodge, double-dealing, duplicity, equivocation, evasion, fabrication, fake, falsehood, feint, forgery, fraud, game, gimmick, hoax, illusion, imposition, imposture, intrigue, invention, jape, machination, maneuver, perjury, plot, ploy, pretense, ruse, snare, stratagem, subterfuge, swindle, trap, treachery, wile.

*Hornswoggle is an American colloquial term that originated in the Wild West. A cow herder, who has allowed a cow to escape by wiggling free of his or her lasso, is said to have been hornswoggled. This was probably a mixed reference to a bull's horns and said wiggling. 

Vag

 vag (væɡ)*

noun

1. dried turf or peat used as fuel; a piece of this.

When we run out out of firewood, we can always throw some vag in the wood stove.

Synonyms: peat, sod.

2. colloquial abbreviation of vagrant; phrased "on the vag."

Vladimir and Estragon are on the vag, waiting endlessly in vain for someone named Godot.

Synonyms: beggar, bum, drifter, floater, hobo, homeless person, itinerant, rolling stone, street kid, street person, tramp, transient, vagabond, vagrant, wanderer.

verb/slang

1. to charge with vagrancy.

If you have no visible means of support you can be vagged.

Synonyms: charged with vagrancy.**

*Note the hard G pronunciation in this word, as opposed to the soft G from the slang term, which is an abbreviation for vagina. This actually makes the two words heteronyms because they are spelled the same, but sound different and have different meanings; very different meanings!

**Sorry. I got stumped there.

Jape

jape (dʒeɪp)
noun
1. a device to trick, deceive or cheat.
So you think you can get rich at Blackjack through some card counting jape?*

Synonyms: ambush, artifice, blind, bluff, casuistry, cheat, chicanery, circumvention, con, concealment, conspiracy, conundrum, cover, deception, decoy, delusion, device, disguise, distortion, dodge, double-dealing, duplicity, equivocation, evasion, fabrication, fake, falsehood, feint, forgery, fraud, game, gimmick, hoax, illusion, imposition, imposture, intrigue, invention, machination, maneuver, perjury, plot, ploy, pretense, ruse, snare, stratagem, subterfuge, swindle, trap, treachery, wile.

verb
1. to trick, deceive or cheat.
C'mon, Bro!?! Does this look like the face of someone who would jape at cards?

Synonyms: baffle, bamboozle, befuddle, bilk, con, confound, confuse, deceive, defraud, delude, dupe, flimflam, hoax, hoodwink, hornswoggle, mystify, perplex, puzzle, stump, swindle, trick.

*The answer is no. I do not think that. Card counting, though interesting, is a waste of time because most casinos do not use only a single deck, but a “shoe” with up to six decks active at any time. While card counting does increase a player’s chance for success, statistics indicate that most players working against a “shoe” or multiple decks only increases their rate of success by less than a single percentage point.

Adumbrate

a-dum-brate (ˈædəmˌbreɪt)

transitive verb
1. to foreshadow or symbolize.
The metaphorical gun on the wall adumbrates violence later in the story.
2. to outline, sketch out, or simply describe.
Anton Chekhov adumbrated medicine as his lawful wife and literature as his mistress.
3. (rare) to conceal or disguise.
Hot chicks like dressing up as zombies to vainly demonstrate that their beauty cannot be entirely adumbrated by the look of rotting flesh and a desire to eat your brain.

Synonyms: augur, bode, cloud, darken foretell, indicate, intimate, mist, obfuscate, obscure, outline, portend, sketch, suggest.

Phlebotomize

phle-bot-o-mize (fləˈbätəmlīz)

verb
1. To perform a phlebotomy: to open a vein to withdraw or let blood.
There was a time when, if you were sick for too long, they'd phlebotmomize you to get rid of the bad blood, evil spirits and such.
2. To draw blood.
The first proof Jonathan Harker had of vampires was watching Dracula's brides phlebotmomized a small child.

Synonyms: bleed, draw blood, let blood.

Apostatize

a-post-a-tize (əˈpästəˌtīz)

verb
1. To give up or renounce one's position or belief.
Thank the goddess that the 2011 Wonder Woman pilot episode didn't get picked up. Adrianne Palicki, though adorable, plays a Wonder Woman who has entirely apostatized core characteristics of the original Wonder Woman. The original Wonder Woman supported the U.S. military out of her love and devotion to Captain Steve Trevor. Adrianne Palicki's character dumps Steve to aid local police and the F.B.I., while running a corporation that markets action figures of her character to pay for her staff and flat screen T.V.'s.*

Synonyms: abandon, abscond, back out, break faith, change sides, cross, depart, desert, fall away from, forsake, go, go back on, go over, go over the fence, lapse, leave, pull out, quit, rat, rebel, reject, renege, renounce, revolt, run out, schism, sell out , spurn, take a walk, tergiversate, tergiverse, turn, turn coat, walk out on, withdraw.

* Someone even went so far as to call her a topless robot.
** I had to include Jacaranda's Wonder Woman Song in here somewhere.
*** For the purists, the original Wonder Woman appears below.

Snark

snark (snärk)

noun
1. A snide remark.
Having not seen her for a few years, I didn't expect to be greeted with such snark.

Synonyms: abase, abuse, affront, aspersion, black eye, blasphemy, cheap shot, contempt, contumely, derision, despite, discourtesy, disdainfulness, disgrace, disrespect, ignominy, impertinence, impudence, incivility, indignity, insolence, invective, libel, mockery, obloquy, offense, opprobrium, outrage, put-down, rudeness, scorn, scurrility, shame, slam, slander, slap, slap in the face, slight, snub, superciliousness, taunt, unpleasantry, vilification, vituperation.

2. A graph in which every node has three branches, and the edges cannot be coloured in fewer than four colours without two edges of the same colour meeting at a point.
Much to Fonzie and Freddie's confusion, Mel insisted on laying out the new rules for the house in a snark displayed on HD TV.

Synonyms: a graph.

3. A fluke or unrepeatable result or detection in an experiment.
The pursuit of alchemy begun with a snark in the kitchen of Gandalph's grandmother.

Synonyms: accident, blessing, break, contingency, fluke, fortuity, fortunate, fortune, good fortune, good luck, incident, lucky break, odd chance, quirk, stroke of luck, windfall.

4. A creature invented by Lewis Carroll.

"For, although common Snarks do no manner of harm,

Yet I feel it my duty to say,

Some are Boojums---'' The Bellman broke off in alarm,

For the Baker had fainted away.
- From The Hunting of the Snark.

Synonyms: boojum.

verb
1. To speak in snide remarks.
"I know you are, but what am I?" she snarked.
2. To snort.
Mel snarked at Amanda when Amanda put away the cat treats.
Synonyms: abase, affront, aggravate, annoy, blister, curse, cut to the quick, debase, degrade, deride, dishonor, disoblige, dump on, flout, gird, humiliate, injure, irritate, jeer, libel, mock, outrage, pan, provoke, put down, revile, ridicule, roast, scoff, slam, slander, slight, sneer, snub, step on one's toes, taunt, tease, underestimate, vex .

Ramify

ram-i-fy (rm-f)

verb
1. To split into branches.
Though families ramify, like the trees we trace them through, a family is still one unit that should never be broken down into individual members.
2. To have or develop complicated consequences.
To hate your family is to hate yourself and to deliberately ramify it is to self-destruct. This destruction grows more horrible when we remember how much our families have endured.

Synonyms: add to, bifurcate, branch out, develop, diverge, diversify, divide, enlarge, expand, extend, fork, grow, increase, multiply, part, proliferate, separate, spread, subdivide.

Flummox

flummox (flmks)

verb
1. To baffle or otherwise confuse.
Speaking in acronyms flummoxed the conversation. GFY can stand for Good For You, but can also mean Go Fuck Yourself; OM can refer to your Old Man or a very peaceful state of mind, the two of which often having little in common; and TTTT can look like your cat is leaning on your keyboard, when you really mean to say These Things Take Time. Acronyms make it difficult to understand what you're trying to say.

Synonyms: addle, baffle, becloud, befuddle, cloud, clutter, confound, daze, discomfit, faze, fluster, fog, frustrate, fuddle, mislead, muddle, nonplus, obscure, perplex, puzzle, rattle.

Transmogrify

trans-mog-ri-fy (trænzˈmɒgrɪˌfaɪ)

verb
1. To change completely the nature and/or appearance of.
Laughter can transmorgify the most unbearable sadness into something beautiful, even hopeful.

Synonyms: alter, change, convert, denature, make over, metamorphose, mutate, reconstruct, remodel, revamp, revolutionize, switch, transfigure, transform, translate, transmute, transpose.

* Do you have one really funky sequined space suit, Bowie, or do you have many ch-ch-changes?
** I was going to post the David Bowie song, but everyone knows that one...

Limn

limn (lĭm)

verb
1. To describe.
Considering you could be a chimerical dilettante to this blog, I shall try to limn it in the simplest terms available.
2. To describe by painting or drawing.
All your drunken brush strokes limn is a distorted picture.

Synonyms: adapt, commentate, construe, delineate, depict, describe, draw out, elucidate, enact, explain, illustrate, interpret, mimic, paint, perform, picture, translate.

Niggle

nig-gle (nĭgˈəl)

verb
1. To obsess over petty details.
I am resisting the urge to niggle in writing historical fiction, even though excessive research only increases the temptation.
2. To find fault constantly and trivially.
The most difficult people to argue with are those who niggle about your words or phrases, rather than listening to what you have to say.

Synonyms: bother, carp, cavil, censure, complain, criticize, find fault, fuss, grumble, knock, nitpick, objurgate, pain, peck, pick, quibble, reproach.

3. To eat sparingly.
At lunch, I tend to just niggle over treats or whatever else is available.

Synonyms: nibble, snack.

4. To tease contemptuously.
I suppose she has been niggled so much in her life that she doesn't know how to discuss things rationally when someone disagrees with her.

Synonyms: annoy, badger, bait, bedevil, beleaguer, bully, dog, gnaw, goad, harass, hector, jive, josh, mock, pick on, plague, rag, ride, ridicule, roast, slam, taunt, torment, vex, worry.

noun
1. Small cramped handwriting.
She had so much to tell me on one small postcard that her message arrived as an illegible niggle.

Synonyms: scribble, scrawl.

Eloign

e-loign (ĭ-loinˈ)

verb (archaic)
1. To remove something a long distance.
You won't realize the great distance you have eloigned, until you look around and realize how far you've been.

Synonyms: 500 Miles, emigrate, immigrate, journey, travel, migrate.

Rapture

rap-ture (răpˈchər)

noun
1. Being moved by wonderful emotions.*
Every time she thinks of Jesus, the corners of her mouth turn up and her eyes gloss over, as the rapture overcomes her.
2. Being literally moved from one place to another, especially from here to heaven.
I welcome the rapture. Jesus loves me: he calls me "Baby" and says "kiss me like you mean it!"

verb
1. The act of doing the above to someone.
Just click on the link, you'll get the idea. It's a good song by the Magnetic Fields.

Synonyms: bliss, buoyancy, cloud nine, delectation, ecstasy, elysium, enchantment, euphoria, exaltation, glory, heaven, nirvana, paradise, ravishment, rhapsody, seventh heaven transport.

* Teachers used to call this "letting your imagination run away with you" or "getting carried away." Today, we still call it that.

Genuflect

gen-u-flect (jĕnˈyə-flĕktˌ)

verb
1. To bend at the the knee, especially in worship.
No one is laughing at God this Saturday;* many will genuflect.
2. Grovelling.
Is it a coincidence that God and super villains both want the same thing: masses of inferior beings genuflecting at their feet.

Synonyms: beseech, boot lick, bow, cower, crawl, crouch, gesticulate, grovel, kneel, kowtow, prostrate, snivel, worship.

* In the future, when I am editing this collection of blog posts for a book, I will edit Saturday out to read: the Second Coming of Christ 21 May 2011.

Mollycoddle

mol-ly-cod-dle (mŏlˈē-kŏdˌl)

verb
1. To overly protect or indulge.
Out of a sense of obligation for all of the kindnesses he's shown me in the past, I tend to mollycoddle my ex every time he phones in the middle of the night

noun
1. A person, especially a man, who has been pampered and overprotected his (rarely her) whole life.
The self-indulgent mollycoddle takes it upon himself to say whatever comes into his mind, regardless of how it will make me feel.

Synonyms: baby, cosset, humour, pet.

Geminate

gem-in-ate (jĕmˈə-nātˌ)

verb
1. Arranged in, formed, or occurring in pairs.
If souls geminate at creation, God made you and I together; over the years, life had a different plan.

adjective
1. In a pair.
You and I are geminate spirits that strayed.

Synonyms: accompanying, bifold, coupled, corresponding, doubled, dual, dualistic, joint, like, paired, parallel, same, twin, twofold, very same.

noun
1. In linguistics, a double or long consonant sound.
The geminate consonant sound distinguishes the difference between "night train" and "night rain."

Synonyms: doubled.

Flub

flub (flŭb)

verb
1. To undeniably screw something up.
The intern at Fox News, who flubbed the banner line on this news report, is going to be looking for a new job soon.

Synonyms: addle, blunder, botch, bungle, confound, err, fail, goof, jumble, lapse, mistake, misconstrue, misinterpret, misjudge, mistake, miss, slip.



noun
1. The act or instance of such a colossal error.
The most embarrassing flub of the US media this year has been a Fox News banner line that read: "Obama bin Laden Dead."

Synonyms: aberration, befuddled, blooper, blunder, boo-boo, bungle, damn you auto correct, erratum, error, faux pas, gaffe, inaccuracy, lapse, miscalculation, misinterpretation, misjudgment, misstep, misprint, muddle, oops!, oversight, slip, slip up, snafu, solecism, trip, typo, typographical error, woopsy daisy.

* See Jenny Owen Youngs for more on relationships and flubbing up.

Pejorate

pe-jor-ate (pĭ-jôrˈāt)

verb
1. Make worse or decrease the value of.
Does painting barbies like zombies pejorate the brainlessness of the doll?
It doesn't seem to pejorate the marketability of such a doll. I wonder if Hasbro has thought of this.

Synonyms: impair, contaminate, blight, collapse, corrode, decline, decompose, defile, degenerate, depreciate disintegrate, dissolve, dwindle, fade, fail, worsen, lessen, molder, pollute, putrefy, putresce, reduce, rot, shrivel, sicken, sink, spoil, suppurate, turn, wane, waste away, weaken, wear away, wither.

Execrate

ex-e-crate (ĕkˈsĭ-krātˌ)

verb
1. To feel and/or declare a loathing for, or even curse, a thing.
It's all fine and dandy for everyone I know to execrate Harper, so long as they don't allow him to be elected into office again!

Synonyms: abhor, abominate, accurse, anathematize, censure, condemn, curse, damn, denounce, deplore, despise, detest, elect prime minister/president, excoriate, imprecate, loathe, objurgate, reprehend, reprove, revile, vilify.