Sycophant

syc-o-phant (skfnt)

noun
1. A parasitic mean flatterer, who falsely sucks up so as to get his/her way without doing any work.
Goddamn you... you... moocher... you... parasite... you suck-up little dick... you freeloading sycophant!

Synonyms: barnacle, dependent, flunky, leech, moocher, parasite, sponge, Stephen Harper.

* Pardon me, I was in an obstreperous mood and had to get that cathartic rant out of my system and am feeling much better now :)